


Weathering Storms

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-07
Updated: 2006-01-07
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: When Donna's mother dies, a secret will be revealed that will change everything





	Weathering Storms

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Weathering Storms**

**by:** weirdgirl42 

**Character(s):** Donna, Josh  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** AU/Romance  
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Summary:** When Donna's mother dies, a secret will be revealed that will change everything  
**Written:** 2005-10-12  


"Josh." 

Josh jumped a little in his chair. He hadn't heard Donna come into his office. "What am I late for now?" he asked. 

"Nothing," replied Donna. 

"Then what..." Josh trailed off as he turned towards her and saw the look on her face. Her eyes were wet and held a look of loss that Josh knew but couldn't place. "Donna what's wrong?" 

"My mother died," Donna said. 

Then Josh remembered why the look in her eyes was familiar. It was the same look his mother had had when he'd flown home for his father's funeral. It was the look he assumed he'd had when Donna told him of his father's death. He stood up and moved to pull her into his arms. She clung to him, her tears wetting his shirt. 

"God Donna I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair. "What happened?" he asked when he pulled back, keeping his hands on her arms. 

"They think it was a heart aneurysm. They didn't have any warning. I keep telling myself that she didn't feel any pain. That she's with my dad now but..."

"It doesn't make it any easier," Josh finished. 

Donna shook her head in agreement. 

"When do you have to leave?" Josh asked after a moment. 

"The funeral's in three days." 

"You should go now." 

"Are you sure?" said Donna. 

"Yeah. I'll call and book you a flight for later today. You should go home and pack." He turned to go back to his desk and make the arrangements when he realized that Donna hadn't moved from her spot. 

"What is it?" he asked. 

Donna bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. "There's something else," she said. 

"What?" Donna faltered and Josh moved towards her. He took one of her hands in his. "It's okay," he said. "Tell me what's wrong." 

Donna took a deep breath. "Josh, I have a daughter." 

XXXXXXXXXX

Josh's mouth opened and closed several times before he could speak. "Wha...what?" he said at last. "A...a daughter?" 

"Yes. Her name is Rebecca, Becky. She's four." 

Josh did some quick calculating in his head. "But that means she was born during the campaign. I may have been a little stressed but I think I would have noticed..." he trailed off, "but then you were gone for five months." 

"Yeah. You never asked why I went back to him. I found out a week after starting to work for you. He told me he wanted me back and I thought he deserved a chance since I was having his baby." 

Josh moved to sit down in his chair. He ran a hand through his hair. "Why didn't you tell me," he said, the hurt evident in his voice. 

"I didn't know how to. My mother was looking after her. I couldn't afford a baby when I left Jeff. I thought I'd just come back to work and then we'd lose and then I'd go home. But we won and my mother said I should stay for the first term." 

"Just the first term?" 

Donna looked at the floor. "I was planning on leaving after the election. I couldn't tell anyone Josh," she said. "There would have been too many questions." "You could have told me," he replied, his voice nothing more than a whisper. 

"What would you have done?" 

Josh sighed, realizing she was right. "I don't know." He grabbed his phone and punched the numbers. 

Donna listened as he made reservations for her on a flight. She opened her mouth to object when he gave the person his own credit card number but he stopped her with a shake of his head. He hung up and looked at her. 

"You're on Northwest flight 324 at 6:45." 

Donna nodded and walked back to the door. "I should go pack." She turned the knob when he called her back. 

"Donna?" 

"Yes?" 

"Call me when you get there?" 

"Okay." 

"We'll figure something out." 

Donna couldn't stop the sad smile that crossed her face when he said 'we'll'. She had been afraid he'd be upset and hurt, which she could tell he was. But usually when he felt these things he backed away. Blocked himself off with various defense mechanisms. Now she could see the compassion in his eyes. He wasn't turning away and for some reason that knowledge calmed her. She moved to leave the office when he called her back again. 

"Donna?" 

"What?" 

Josh got up, walked around his desk and enfolded her in his arms again. "I'm sorry about your mom." 

"Thank you," she said into his shoulder. 

He pulled away. "Call me," he said. 

"I will." 

And with that she was gone. Josh rubbed his eyes and tried to decide what to do next. He realized that Leo had to be told. But he wanted to check on some things before he did that. So he went back to his desk and picked up the phone. 

XXXXXXXX

Three hours later Josh walked wearily into Leo's office. 

"I take it you've heard," said Leo. 

"Heard what?" 

"About Donna's mom." 

"Yeah she told me." Josh sat down across from Leo. 

"How's she doing?" 

"As well as can be expected." 

"You give her enough time off?" 

"As much as she needs. Listen Leo, there's something else." 

Leo looked up from the file he had been reading. This was the same tone of voice Josh had used when telling him Lillanfield had his rehab records. "What is it?" 

"She has a daughter." 

"Donna?" Leo asked. His eyes getting wide. 

"Yeah." 

"When?" 

"Four years ago." 

"But that was during..."

"The campaign," finished Josh. "It was when she was gone for five months." 

"She was living with Donna's mother?" 

"Yeah." 

"Is she...I'm sorry I have to ask this but...is she yours?" 

"No," Josh said firmly. "There's absolutely no chance of that." 

"This is going to complicate things." 

"I know," Josh said softly. 

"The hours you work her aren't conducive to a single parent." 

"I know." 

"Not to mention she doesn't exactly live in the best part of town." 

"I know, I'm working on all of that. I'll figure something out." 

Leo paused and observed his deputy. "Are you doing okay?" he asked. 

"Why would you ask me that?" 

"Your assistant, who is also your friend, tells you she has a daughter you didn't know about. She might not be able to be your assistant anymore." 

"I'm fine Leo," Josh replied, standing up and heading for the door. "I'm working it out." He turned to leave but Leo called him back. 

"Be careful Josh." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean that I'm not blind and I'm telling you to be careful. The last thing this administration needs right now is..."

"I know Leo," Josh said, effectively stopping his boss from finishing the thought. With that he left the office, leaving Leo to imagine how many ways this could go wrong, and question whether or not it was worth it anyway. 

XXXXXXXX

A week later Josh dialed Donna's mother's house and waited as the phone rang three times. A man, who Josh assumed was Donna's brother Anthony, picked up. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi. Is Donna there?" 

"Yeah, hold on." There was a pause. Josh waited and thought back to the many conversations he'd had with Donna in the past few days. They'd talked almost every night. Josh wanted to make sure she was doing alright and Donna just needed a distraction from all the planning and logistics she was dealing with. She'd ask about what he was doing and he'd ask what she still had to do, offering his help though she repeatedly declined. 

Three days after she left there had been a lull in conversation so Josh had asked about Becky. When Donna asked what he wanted to know he'd replied, anything. So she spent half an hour telling him about her daughter. Josh smiled remembering this and a couple of other similar conversations. 

Donna's voice came on over the line. "Hello?" 

"Hey it's me." 

"Hey," Donna replied. Josh could hear the weariness in her voice. 

"How're you holding up?" 

"Okay. We've got everything packed up and the house should be on the market in a few days. Anthony is going to stay here and take care of things for a while. He only lives an hour away. 

Josh paused for a moment, not sure if he should ask the next question. "How's Becky?" he said finally. 

Donna sighed. "She doesn't really understand. She's confused about why she has to move. She doesn't really know where her grandma went. But she's doing pretty well considering." 

"Have you had a chance to look at any of the apartments I e-mailed information about?" 

"Josh, I really appreciate you doing that but I can't afford any of them. Especially not with a four year old to take care of." 

"Yes you can." 

"No I..."

"Wait," Josh said. "Hear me out. I sort of came up with a plan." 

Josh could hear her skepticism over the phone. 

"Josh...do you want to remind you of the last few times you've come up with a plan?" 

"Donna!" he objected. "I've been working very hard on these plans." 

"There are more than one?" 

"Two actually. One I wish you'd choose and one I think you should choose." 

"Okay, what's the plan you wish I'd choose?" 

"You stay on as my assistant, I give you a raise, and I do a better job giving you decent hours." 

"You got me a raise?" 

Josh smiled, "I got you a raise." 

"So why do you want me to take the other plan?" 

"Because realistically I'm not sure how well the hours will work. And what will happen is that you'll either have to work too many hours or I'll be without an assistant for too much of the day." 

Donna frowned as she realized this was probably true. "What's the other option?" she asked finally. 

"Well, the president's head research assistant resigned and they haven't hired anyone yet. I talked to the president about you taking over and he liked the idea. It pays pretty well, enough for you to afford any of those apartments, and the hours are much more reasonable than anything I can promise you." 

There was a pause on the line. 

"Donna," Josh said, his voice soft, "you know how much you mean to me. How valuable you are. And there's nothing that I'd like more than for you to tell me screw the research assistant you want to work with me...but I think you should take it. Your daughter deserves to see you more than she would if you worked for me." 

Donna felt her eyes swell with tears at this. It was so unlike the Josh she knew. It was kind and selfless. She pulled herself together before responding. "It's not like I'll be leaving altogether. I mean I'll still be in the building." 

"Yeah," said Josh, his voice hiding his disappointment. "So when are you coming home?" 

"The day after tomorrow. Our flight gets in at 6:30." 

"Do you need me to pick you up?" 

"I was going to have Carol come get us." 

Us. Josh gulped at the word. A part of his mind had grasped the fact that Donna would not be coming alone but the rest was still catching up. "Does Carol know?" he asked. 

"No," Donna said. "I was going to explain when I called her." 

"Don't do that," Josh told her. "Don't do it over the phone." 

"I think she'll notice the small child with me at the airport." 

"I'll come and get you." 

There was a pause. "Donna? Is it alright? Or have you been telling your daughter I'm an evil man who keeps you chained to a desk." 

"No, no nothing like that. It's just...are you sure you can?" 

"Yeah. Tomorrow should be pretty light barring some sort of national crisis. I can spare an hour to come get you guys." 

"Well, okay then." 

"Okay. I'll meet you at baggage claim. See you tomorrow." 

"Bye." 

They hung up. Josh leaned back in his desk chair and sighed. He was meeting Donna's daughter tomorrow. A little girl that was part Donna and part that moronic low-life bastard...he stopped. Thinking like that wasn't going to help. And it wasn't the child's fault her father was who he was. But something kept eating at Josh's mind. He couldn't shake the feeling that he should have been the father. And that scared him more than anything. 

XXXXXXXXXX

The next day Josh stood next to the revolving conveyer belt that would soon carry luggage. He bounced back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waited. After what seemed like hours he saw a familiar blond head walking towards him. His breath caught a little when he finally got a look at the child holding Donna's hand. 

Becky was the spitting image of her mother. Stick straight blond hair and delicate features with eyes that took in more than they seemed to. As the pair got closer he realized that those eyes held unshed tears and the girl's lower lip was quivering slightly. 

They reached him and for a moment no one spoke. Neither Josh nor Donna sure of what to say. Then Becky spoke softly from her place at her mother's side. 

"Is that him Mama?" she asked. 

Donna smiled, "Yeah that's him." She reached down and put a hand on the little girl's head, smoothing her hair. "Becky, this is my very good friend Josh. Can you say hi?" 

"Hi," Becky said shyly. 

Josh reached down and shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you Becky." 

Becky didn't reply, just looked up at him with an unsure look. 

"Sorry," said Donna. "We just found out that my brother accidentally gave Cubbie away to Goodwill." 

"Cubbie?" Josh asked. 

"Her stuffed tiger." 

"Oh," said Josh. He looked back at Becky and squatted down so he was at her level. "When I was little my mom accidentally threw my teddy bear away." 

"Why?" asked Becky, her eyes wide. Donna smiled at their interaction and went to collect the suitcases. 

"Because I was sick and she threw my sheets away but didn't know my bear was in there." 

"Were you sad?" 

"Yeah I was. But your tiger is lucky." 

"Why?" 

"Because you loved him a lot and now some other kid is going to love him too. So he gets twice the love." 

Becky thought about this for a minute. "So Cubbie won't be sad?" 

Josh shook his head, "Nah. I'm sure he'll miss you though." He patted her shoulder. "You feel better?" 

Becky nodded. 

"Want to go get ice cream?" 

With that the girl's face lit up, just like Donna's did when she was excited. "Can I get strawberry?" 

"Sure. Anything you like." 

"Okay. Let's go." She grabbed his hand and dragged him to where Donna had piled the suitcases. Several minutes later everything was loaded into his car and they were on their way to find some ice cream. 

The day before, Donna had wired Josh the money to pay two months rent on one of the apartments that he had found. It was two bedrooms and in a nicer part of the city. After getting ice cream they drove to the apartment building and unloaded the suitcases. Donna went to the landlord to fill out some paperwork while Josh helped Becky unpack her stuff, listening with a small smile as the little girl explained the significance of each trinket and the plots of every book. 

After Becky's stuff was unpacked Josh went out to get Chinese food for dinner. While he was gone, Donna worked on setting up more of the apartment. Josh had arranged for what little furniture she owned to be brought to the new place so she and Becky decided where everything should go. Becky thought the whole thing was a game and got very intense about figuring out the best place for each piece of furniture. 

When they were done, Donna realized that Josh had been gone a long time. She was considering calling his cell when there was a knock at the door before it opened slowly. 

"Hey," Josh called so that they would know it was him. "I've got food." 

"What took you so long?" Donna asked, moving to the door to help him carry the food. When she got there she saw that he was holding another bag as well. 

"I had to make another stop," Josh told her. He put the food on the table and looked at Becky who was standing next to one of the chairs. "I have something for you," he said. 

"What?" Becky asked. 

Josh reached into the bag and pulled out a stuffed lion. 

Becky's eyes widened. "For me?" 

"Yeah. I figured since Cubbie gets a new friend you should get one too." 

"What's his name?" 

"You tell me. It's a he?" 

Becky nodded and then thought about this for a while. "Bartlet," she said at last. 

Josh grinned, "Bartlet huh? Why's that?" 

"Cause that's the president and that's where you and Mommy work and Mommy says he's the real deal." 

Josh looked up and caught Donna's eye. "Mommy's a very smart lady," he said. 

XXXXXXXXXX

The weeks passed and things settled into a routine. Donna slipped easily into her new job and relished the opportunity to make up for lost time with her daughter. Her new schedule gave her hours that were consistent with the White House daycare service. She dropped Becky off every morning at 7 and picked her up around 6 each night. Most days on her lunch break she'd visit the day care and eat with her daughter. 

Though the little girl still missed her grandma, she was ecstatic at living with her mother all the time. And more than that, she now had a new group of adults fawning over her. 

Becky was the darling of the west wing from the first day her visited. She and Sam, with their easygoing personalities, had become instant pals. Becky, with some prompting from CJ, called him 'Sunshine Man' and he in return called her 'Daisy Girl', saying that her hair was as yellow at a daisy. 

In CJ, Becky saw superwoman. She had never met a woman so tall, confident, and funny. She had found her hero, going as far as to tell Donna that she wanted to be a press secretary one day like her Aunt CJ. 

Though Toby had initially shown reluctance in being anything to Becky, the little girl's charm, wonder, and smile had eventually won him over. Sam even swore that she had once had Toby laughing. And not the half frantic laugh the gruff man usually had, but a genuine happy laugh. Of course most people didn't believe this. 

President Bartlett and Leo had both stepped into the role of grandfather willingly and easily. Jed loved Becky's curiosity and thirst for knowledge, and he was only too happy to provide anecdotes and stories that Becky eagerly ate up. And Leo couldn't get enough of her humor and mischievous nature. 

From the assistants to Ed and Larry, it seemed that no one could resist the miniature version of Donna. Donna loved seeing her friends and co-workers connecting so well with her daughter. It eased her fears about how the transition would go. But the person who most surprised her was Josh. 

If you'd asked him a year ago, Josh would have claimed that losing Donna as his assistant would be the worst thing that could happen to him. But despite his fears, the transition went smoother than either had anticipated. Though it took him a while to not yell her name when he wanted something, his worst fear about Donna leaving had not been realized, he still saw her all the time. He would stop by at her new office whenever he had a chance and she would come eat lunch in his office with him once in a while. She claimed it was to make sure he was eating but they both knew that they missed seeing each other more often. 

Josh and Becky had connected from the first time they met. About two months after Becky had moved, she and Donna were driving home from daycare. Donna was asking about Becky's day when Becky told her that Josh had come to visit. Donna paused for a moment, unsure how to respond. Becky moved on to tell her about art time so she was saved from having to reply. 

The next day Donna asked Ms. Grady, the woman who ran the daycare about Josh. She told Donna that he would stop by once in a while. Usually he'd just play a game or read a book with her. 

"I won't let him in next time if you don't want," Ms. Grady said. "Becky's just always so excited to see him that I figured it wasn't doing any harm." 

"No, it's fine," said Donna. Then she thanked the woman and made her way up to the bullpen. Josh was sitting at his desk reading a file. She knocked on the doorframe. 

"Hey," he said, looking up. "What's up?" 

"Why didn't you tell me you've gone to see Becky?" 

Josh sat back and ran a hand through his hair. "Does it bother you?" 

"No," Donna said. "Not at all." 

"The first time was just because I had gotten out of a meeting early right near the daycare so I stopped in and she asked me to come back so..." he trailed off. "She's a great kid." 

"Yeah I know," said Donna. They were silent for a moment. Donna chewed absentmindedly on her thumbnail. "You know, you don't have to go to the daycare if you want to see her." 

"What?" 

"I mean, you could come over some time. See the both of us." 

Josh smiled a little, "I'd like that," he said. 

"Okay, well I have to get to work." She gave him a smile and then left his office. 

Josh nodded his head slightly, "Well it's a start." 

XXXXXXXXXX 

A couple of weeks later Josh knocked on Donna and Becky's door. Donna opened it and he held up the bags of Chinese take-out he'd brought. 

"Did you get kung-pao chicken?" she asked. 

"You thought I would dare show up without it?" he retorted, stepping into the apartment.

Donna took the bags from him and made her way into the kitchen. This was the third time since their talk in his office that he had brought dinner over. Normally he would eat with them, play with Becky for a while, help put her to bed, then stay and talk with Donna for a little longer before heading back to the office. 

Though Donna was filled with happiness at spending time with him, and watching him bond with her daughter, a part of her was scared. She knew she loved Josh, she had loved him for a while now. And there were times when he would catch her eye, or place his hand at the small of her back that she thought he might love her in return. But she feared that if things went badly, the one who would really be hurt was Becky. 

She was pulled from her thoughts by a pair of feet running down the hallway towards the kitchen. 

"Josh!" Becky yelled. 

"Hey Munchkin," Josh said as he swung the girl up into his arms. "How are you?" 

"Good," replied Becky. She wiggled down from his arms and grabbed his hand. "Come on, I got a new book to show you." 

Josh raised his eyebrows at Donna who laughed. "Go on, I'll get this food ready." She watched as Becky dragged Josh down the hall to her bedroom. "Don't forget to wash up!" she yelled after them. 

"We won't!" they both yelled back. 

Donna smiled and shook her head. 

After they had eaten, Donna washed up the plates and walked into the living room where she found Becky curled up on Josh's lap listening as he read her new book to her for the third time. She caught his eye with a look that said 'bedtime' and saw him nod. Finishing the book he lifted the almost sleeping girl up into his arms and handed her to her mother. 

Donna took Becky and kissed her forehead. Becky stirred and looked back at Josh, "Night Josh," she said. 

"Goodnight Munchkin," he replied. 

Donna carried Becky to her room and started their bedtime routine. Josh went into the kitchen and finished the dishes, throwing away the empty cartons and putting the leftovers into the fridge. 

A few minutes later Donna came into the room. 

"Hey," he said, "she out?" 

"Like a light." 

"Well I better get going." 

"How much do you have left to do tonight?" Donna asked as they made their way to the front door. 

"A couple hours. I should get home before midnight," he said grinning, "light day." 

"Josh," Donna said, stopping him with a hand on his arm. 

Josh turned back to face her, "Yeah?" 

"Do you ever think that...I mean have you ever thought if you and I..." she trailed off, not sure how to ask him this, not sure if she wanted to. 

"Yeah," said Josh. "I have." 

It shouldn't have surprised her that he knew what she was thinking. "For how long?" 

"Since the day I met you." 

"Why didn't you say anything?" 

Josh looked down at the floor. "I didn't think you'd..."

"But what if I do?" 

He looked up and caught her eyes. Slowly he raised a hand to cup her face. She let herself lean into his touch for a moment before pulling away. 

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, moving towards the door. 

"No," Donna said. "No it's just...I'm worried." 

"So am I," Josh said. "My track record isn't so great. But if there was anything that I never want to screw up it's this. I promise I'll do everything in my power not to." 

"I know," she replied. "And a part of me is scared because I've never felt like this before and I know that if something happens it would be...unimaginable. But whatever it would be like for me, it would be worse for Becky." 

"Yeah," said Josh. "I know that." 

"She loves you. And if you came into her life even more only to disappear, I don't know how she would deal with that." 

"I love her too Donna. And I promise that no matter what happens between us, I would never disappear from her life." 

"You shouldn't have to promise that Josh. It isn't fair to you. You're not her father." 

"But I should have been," the words were out of his mouth before he realized he'd said them out loud. 

Donna looked at him as if trying to decide whether to be angry, touched, or scared that Josh may have lost his mind. "What?" she said at last. 

"Forget," Josh said, trying to leave, "I didn't mean...just forget it." 

Donna grabbed his arm, "No," she said. "I don't want to forget it. Why did you say it?" 

"I don't know." 

"Yes you do," Donna pushed. "Josh," she said, pulling on his arm so he'd face her, "talk to me. We don't do well when we don't talk. Are you angry with me?" 

"No." 

"Then why would you say something like that? You think I don't know that I screwed up? That I cheated Becky out of a father? That I shouldn't have been so stupid and listened to you when you called him 'Dr. Freeride'?" She was getting angry now, "I know all of that Josh." 

"I didn't mean it like that," Josh said. 

"Then what did you mean?" 

"I don't know! Maybe I just mean that I wish she was mine. That I had told you before you left how I felt. I can't help it Donna. I look at her, and I think about what that...that bastard did to the two of you...it wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to be ours. But then I look at her and she's perfect and I think that if it had been any other way she wouldn't be Becky." 

"I know," said Donna after a long pause. 

"You do?" 

"You don't think that a part of me has wished that Becky's father had been the kind of guy who'd stick around? That he'd been the kind of guy she could look up to? That he'd been you?" She said the last part in a voice one step above a whisper. 

Josh was overcome by feeling he couldn't begin to classify or describe. So he did the only thing he could think of, he closed the distance between them and kissed her. She responded to him in kind, wrapping her arms around his neck as his hands came to rest on her hips. When he reluctantly pulled his lips away he touched his forehead to hers. 

"I can't change the past Josh.," Donna whispered. "And I can't ask you to forgive me." 

"Forgive you for what?" 

"For going back to him." 

"You think I'm angry about that?" 

"Aren't you?" 

"No," he said resolutely. "If you hadn't done that, you wouldn't have her." 

Donna leaned up and kissed him again. When they pulled apart she shook her head slightly. "What are we doing?" she asked him, resting her head against his chest. 

"Something we should have done a while ago," he replied, wrapping her in his arms. "I'm not going anywhere Donnatella," he said into her hair. "And there's nothing to forgive. If anything, I should apologize for being so afraid." 

They pulled away. "So what now?" said Donna. 

Josh let out a breath, "Honestly? I have no idea." 

Donna smiled and slipped her hand into his, "One day at a time?" 

"Yeah," said Josh. "I think I can do that." He opened the door and with one last lingering smile he was gone. Donna shut the door behind him. She was about to go into her room to get ready for bed when there was a soft knock. She opened the door to find Josh standing there. 

"We have to tell CJ tomorrow," he said. Then he swooped in and kissed her briefly before disappearing down the hallway. 

XXXXXXXXX

Days passed. Then days turned into weeks and Josh and Donna's relationship began to change from the slow experimental stage to something that began to resemble permanence. 

The press had not been a problem. They weren't working together anymore so that wasn't an issue. And most of the press had known there was something between the two for years. One paper tried to print a story claiming that Donna had gotten her new job by sleeping with Josh but CJ, and apparently various other members of the press lead by Danny Conncanon, had made it clear that any such action would not be tolerated. 

Everyone had seen from the beginning that Josh and Donna had something special. And Josh was beginning to realize why. There was no one in the world he felt more comfortable around. He realized that that had been true before they'd become involved. 

The easy banter and joking they had crossed over into their new relationship, making it seem as though they'd been together for years, not months. In truth, not much had changed. The transition from friends to something more wasn't a shift in their relationship, it was more of an increase. The only thing that was different was that now they didn't have to subtly sabotage each other's dates. They didn't have to pretend they weren't staring a little too long at the other. Now, Josh could reach out and touch her whenever he wanted to, not because he'd just given her a Christmas present or because a poll had gone really well. 

He could kiss her now. And he took advantage of that fact. Donna, knowing his past experience with women, had never expected the open tenderness he showed when he kissed her. Never expected that he was the kind of man who would squeeze her hand or kiss her temple for no reason other than he wanted to. Never expected that he would sleep with one arm draped across her stomach. 

Their first time had been sufficiently awkward. After so many years of pent up sexual tension, the final result was one of uncertainty and restraint. Afterwards he kissed her bare shoulder, wrapped her in his arms and whispered close to her ear, "We'll get better. We have forever." 

And better they got. 

Four months after that first kiss Josh was over at Donna and Becky's apartment. He had become a more permanent fixture there. Though, at Donna's insistence, he always left in the morning before Becky woke up. 

The three of them were sitting on the living room floor playing monopoly junior. Though she still sometimes needed a little help with the money, Becky was an expert at the game. Donna teased Josh saying that a four year old had more business sense than he did. When the game was over Donna looked over at her daughter. 

"Bath," she said. 

Becky smiled. "Toys?" she asked hopefully. 

Donna checked the clock, "Yeah, we have enough time for toys." 

Becky looked over at Josh who was putting the board away. "You give me a bath?" 

Josh froze for a moment. Becky had never asked him to do this before. He glanced over at Donna who just raised her eyebrows, leaving the choice to him. Josh looked back at the little girl and smiled. Who was he kidding? There was no way he was going to say no. 

"Sure," he said. "Go get ready. I'll meet you in the bedroom." 

The bath itself left Josh only arguably less wet than Becky but neither cared. Donna watched from the doorway as the two played with Becky's bath toys. She wanted to make sure Josh had everything covered, she didn't think he'd every given a child a bath before. But to her surprise he seemed a natural. Keeping her occupied while he helped her wash off. 

"Okay," Donna said at last. "Time for bed." 

They both looked at her and said, "Aw." 

"Honestly Josh you're as bad as she is. Now hurry up and get dried off." 

Josh lifted Becky out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her, grabbing her into a hug at the same time causing the little girl to laugh. As he dried her hair she said, "Look." 

Josh looked up and followed her gaze to the mirror which showed their reflection. "What?" he said, not understanding. 

"Becky and Josh," she said. 

Josh hugged her a little tighter, "Yeah," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Becky and Josh." 

Becky, now thoroughly tired leaned back into his arms. 

"Sleepy Munchkin?" he said. 

She just nodded and closed her eyes. Josh scooped her up and carried her into her bedroom where Donna was waiting with pajamas. After putting them on the almost asleep toddler Donna lay her in the bed. She kissed her cheek, "Goodnight baby," she whispered. 

"Night Mommy." 

Josh smiled and turned to leave the room. 

"Josh?" Becky said. 

"What?" 

"Kiss goodnight?" 

Josh's heart tightened as he made his way to the bed. Leaning down he kissed her forehead. "Night Becky," he said, pulling the covers up around her. 

"Love you," she said, half asleep. 

"I love you too." 

Donna stood watching this and couldn't stop a tear from running down her cheek. What had she done to deserve this man? When Josh joined her they just watched the little girl sleep. 

"Donna," Josh whispered. 

"Yeah?" 

"I love you." 

It was the first time he'd said it. They both knew the other felt it but it had never been said. More tears fell down her cheeks. "I love you too," she said. 

"Marry me?" 

"What?" 

"Marry me." His voice was still a whisper so as not to wake Becky. "I want to marry you. I want us to be a family. You guys can move in with me or we can stay here if you think that's better. I don't care I just want...I think if I had the two of you for the rest of my life I wouldn't need anything else." 

"You've got us Josh." 

"Is that a..."

"Yes, it's a yes." 

XXXXXXXX

It had been almost six months since they'd been married. Josh glanced down at the simple gold band on his left hand and smiled slightly. He felt someone come up behind him. 

"Pretty amazing isn't it?" 

Josh turned as Leo came to stand next to him in the bullpen. "What is?" 

"Don't play dumb with me," Leo said point a finger at him, "I saw that smile. I remember when Jenny and I first got married, it was a year before I stopped smiling every time I looked at the ring." 

This time Josh grinned outright. "So how's it looking?" 

"The east coast is exactly what we predicted as is the Midwest. Too early to tell on the west coast, Florida, and Ohio. We should know pretty soon though." 

Josh stared up at the TVs that were covering the election. "How's he doing?" 

"He's in the residence with the family. I was gonna head over there." Leo turned to leave when Josh called him back. 

"Leo?" 

"What's up?" 

"I just...I wanted to tell you..." he ran a hand through his hair and then looked Leo in the eye. "You saved me," he said. "Twice actually. You saved me by bringing me to Nashua and you saved me during that Christmas. And whatever happens tonight, I wanted to say thanks." 

Leo looked at his almost-son with a new found respect. This wasn't the same man who he'd recruited away from Hoynes. Though in the political arena 'Bartlet's Pitbull' was still adept at handling Congress and lobbyists alike, Leo knew that the last year had changed Josh permanently. If forced to deal in clichés. Leo would say that Josh had found some inner peace. His eyes still held the idealistic determination they always had but now there was a calmness in them as well. 

Leo put a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Whatever happens, I'm proud of you kid. And I know it might not mean much coming from me but, Noah would be too." 

"It means a lot," Josh replied. 

Leo patted his arm and then made his way out of the bullpen towards the residence. 

Josh watched him leave before turning back to the TVs. It was going to be close. He remembered doing this once before. But this time was different. This time, for several reasons, he didn't feel like his life would end if they didn't win. 

"Daddy!" 

And one of those reasons was running towards him right now. 

"Rebecca!" came Donna's voice right after. "What have we told you about running in here?" 

Josh grinned as he caught the little girl and swung her up into his arms causing her to giggle in delight. 

_After they got engaged Donna and Josh had sat Becky down and explained that they were going to get married and that they were all going to go live in Josh's house. Becky had been silent for a minute or so. Josh was terrified that she was upset. But then she looked up at the both of them._

"We'll move my room to Josh's house?" 

"Yes," said Josh, not expecting this question. 

"Josh'll be there all the time?" 

"Well I'll still have to work and you'll be in school during the day pretty soon but, yeah I'll be there." 

"Okay," said Becky. "Can we read now?" 

And that was that. 

Three weeks before the wedding Josh took a Saturday afternoon off and took Becky to the zoo, just the two of them. As they were walking through the penguin house Josh broached the subject he'd wanted to bring up. 

"Becky are you okay about moving next week?" 

"Yes. Mommy says I can bring my toys and books and Bartlet." 

Josh smiled at the mention of the stuffed lion he'd given her when she first moved from Wisconsin. "Are you okay about me marrying your mom?" 

"Yes." 

"I want you to tell me if you're not. And I want you to tell me if you have any questions." 

"Did you know my Daddy?" she asked. 

Josh was taken aback. This was the last thing he'd expected her to ask. He also wasn't exactly sure what Donna had told her daughter about Jeff. 

"No," he replied. "I didn't know him." 

"Mommy says he left. I asked her why but she just said because he wasn't who she thought he was. I don't know what that means. Do you know what that means?" 

They had walked out of the building and Josh steered them over to a bench. He sat down and pulled Becky up onto his lap. "Munchkin your daddy didn't realize how wonderful your mom was. He didn't understand how lucky he was. And he decided that he didn't want to be a part of your life because he didn't know how wonderful you are." 

"Grandma said he's a no-good-freeloading-dumbkiss," Becky told him in absolute seriousness. 

Josh held back his laughter. "I think your grandma was a smart woman." 

"Mrs. Grady says we're all a part of our parents. Does that mean I'm a no-good-freeloading-dumbkiss." 

"No," Josh said quickly, wrapping his arms around her. "You are none of those things." 

"How do you know?" Becky asked leaning back against his chest. 

Josh could feel then insecurity radiating off her small body and he paused, trying to word his response. Where was Sam when he needed him? "Becky you can't be a part of someone you've never known. When Mrs. Grady said that she meant that you are a part of your mother. There's a difference between parents and a person who happens to be your mother and father. You know Michael in your class? And we talked about how he was adopted?" 

"Yeah." 

"Well he's a part of his adopted parents because they love him and spend time with him and are raising him. Do you understand?" 

She nodded, obviously working all of this information out in her mind. "Josh?" she said at last. 

"Yeah?" 

"When you marry Mommy will you be my daddy?" 

Josh took a breath. A part of him knew that this was bound to come up but he still didn't feel prepared. "I'll be your step-dad," he said. 

"Can I call you Daddy?" 

And in a move he never would have imagined doing just a year ago he replied. "Sure. If that's what you want." 

Donna's hand on his arm brought him out of his memories. "How's it going?" she asked. 

"Leo says we should know soon," he replied. "You say she could stay up?" 

Donna smiled. "She said that this was 'a very portant historic event' and that I should let her stay up to watch. Now tell me, where do you think she heard that from?" 

Josh raised an eyebrow. "You aren't suggesting that I told her to say that?" He looked over at the little girl in his arms. "Did I tell you to say that?" 

"No," she replied. "Aunt CJ did." 

Donna and Josh both laughed. Just then the aforementioned 'Aunt CJ' came running out of her office. "Guys! She shouted. They're calling it!" 

Josh's eyes flew to the TV screens as CJ, Sam, and Toby came to stand next to him. 

"With the east coast results coming in we are now ready to call the election for President..."

That was the last anyone heard before the shouting and hugging and crying. Over the sound Josh heard his cell go off. After pulling it open, shouting "Hello?" and listening he turned to the rest of the senior staff. "Leo says he asking for us in the residence." 

They made their way out of the west wing, Josh still carrying Becky. When they got to the residence they were hugged and congratulated by the entire first family. After a few minutes the president quieted everyone. 

"There are no words," he began, "to describe the miracle you all pulled off in the past few months. I could never thank you enough. You've all given up so much." He glanced over at Leo who caught his eye and nodded slightly. "We've seen a lot of changes over the past four years." He glanced over at Josh who had one arm around Donna and the other holding Becky's hand. "I can't promise you that the second time will be easier." 

"Where's the fun in easy?" CJ asked. Everyone laughed. 

"I wish I could express what I feel for all of you. You're family and I love you all." 

"You're getting sentimental in your old age Dad," came Ellie's voice. 

Jed glared at her, "Well it's good to see the respect hasn't worn off. Now I know you all have things to do but I wanted to ask each of you to think about what we can accomplish. What will be the legacy we live to the world? What do you want that legacy to be?" 

There was silence for a moment before Toby, just like that night so long ago when Leo asked them to run head first into walls, spoke, "I serve at the pleasure of the president." 

Sam was next, "I serve at the pleasure of the president." 

One by one each of the staff; CJ, Charlie, Leo, Donna, and Josh all echoed the words that were etched into their minds. 

Jed looked at them with unshed tears in his eyes. "Okay," he said. "What's next?" 

XXXXXXXXXX

Seven year old Becky bit her bottom lip in a way that made her look even more like her mother. She was sitting in the principal's office waiting for her mother to come get her. She had never been in trouble before and she bit her lip to keep from crying. 

The door opened and one of the office assistants peaked in. "Becky's step-father is here." 

Mr. Paulson the principal looked up. "Send him in." 

Becky turned and looked out the window, afraid to look as Josh walked into the room. She knew he'd be disappointment and she hated when he was disappointed in her. 

"Afternoon, I'm Jack Paulson." 

Josh reached out and shook his hand, "Josh Lyman. My wife was in a meeting with...well she was in a meeting. What happened?" 

"I'm afraid Becky got into a fight." 

"What?" Josh turned and looked at Becky. "What happened?" 

Becky still refused to meet his eyes, instead she looked at the floor and shook her head. 

"She hasn't said why. Neither has the other boy. We've decided not to push the matter as long as it ends here. If there is anymore fighting we will have to take more drastic measures." 

"I understand," said Josh. "It's Friday, when can she come back to school?" 

"Oh, she can return on Monday." 

Josh reached out and shook the man's hand again. "Thank you very much Mr. Paulson. I can assure you that this won't happen again." He turned to Becky. "Come on Munchkin. Let's go." 

Becky stood and followed Josh out of the building towards his car. They drove in silence back to the White House. After parking in his space Josh got out and looked at his dejected counterpart. Putting an arm around her shoulders he led her out of the parking lot into the sun. 

"You want to walk up to the Lincoln Memorial?" he asked, knowing it was her favorite. 

"Okay," she answered quietly. 

They climbed halfway up the steps to the statue before Josh stopped and sat down, motioning for Becky to sit next to him. They looked out over the reflecting pool and up to the Washington monument. 

"So what happened?" Josh asked after a while. 

Becky looked down at her shoes. "I don't want to talk about it." 

"Okay," he said, in the same voice he used to make senators think they'd won when they hadn't. 

Becky sighed. "Are you mad?" she asked, looking up at him. 

"I don't know Beck. You know how your mom and I feel about fighting. I'm disappointed that you got into a fight, but I also want to hear your side. Cause this isn't like you Munchkin." 

"I know." 

"So who was this boy?" 

"Bryan Chambers." 

"Did he hit you first?" 

Becky shook her head. 

"You hit him?" 

She nodded. 

"What did he do?" 

Becky sighed. "He said things." 

"What kind of things?" 

"He said that President Bartlet was a stupid cripple who cared more about poor people than hard working taxpayers. I told him it wasn't true and he said that President Bartlet should have just died when he got shot like all the babies he lets people kill." 

Josh took a sharp intake of breath, willing himself to stay calm. 

"I know I shouldn't have hit him but I just got so mad! It isn't true! Why did he say those things Dad?" 

Josh put his arm around Becky and pulled her close. "Sometimes people think things that aren't true. And sometimes people blame the president for the things they don't agree with." 

"I'm sorry I hit him." 

Josh didn't respond at first. Then, making a decision, he spoke, "Becky your mom and I weren't sure when we should tell you about what happened in Rossyln but I think now is as good time as any. You know that a few years ago the president got shot right?" 

"Yeah. I remember Grandma watching the news when it happened." 

"Right." He paused a moment before continuing, "Becky I was shot that night too. In the chest." 

Becky lower lip quivered slightly. 

"I'm okay," he told her. She was too young to understand psychological effects, he would explain about the PTSD when she was older. "But I was hurt badly. The people who did it, they did it because they were angry that Charlie and Zoey were dating." 

"How come?" 

"Because Charlie is black." 

"So?" 

Josh smiled sadly, he wished more than anything that he could protect her from the harsh truth of bigotry but he knew that she was better off knowing that it existed. "Because some people think that black people and white people shouldn't be together." 

"But that's stupid." 

"I know it is. But some people don't think so. And I understand why you hit Bryan." 

"You do?" 

"Yeah I do. We all do things when we're angry that we shouldn't. He attacked someone you care about and it's natural to want to make him stop. But I want you to understand that fighting is wrong. You shouldn't resort to violence when someone says things like that because then you're no better than they are. Do you understand?" 

"I think so. If I hit him because I think he's wrong then I'm doing what those men did to you." 

"Right." 

"Then how do I make him stop saying things like that?" 

"Sometimes you can't. But you have to know that you're right and that no matter what, you have a dignity he doesn't. Do you think that will work?" 

Becky smiled for the first time that afternoon. "Yeah. I think that'll work." She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I'm sorry Dad," she said. 

Josh kissed the top of her head. "I know you are. Now come on, you have the rest of the day off from school. I'm sure everyone will want to see you." And with that they made their way back to the White House. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Inauguration day was cloudy and grey. But not as cold as the one before. Josh stood staring out over the crowd of people waiting for the next president to be sworn in. It was his third inauguration day. Today Matthew Santos would be sworn in as the next president of the United States. 

Josh had convinced Santos to run and when Matt told him the only way he'd run was if Josh ran the campaign, Josh had gone to Donna and they'd decided he should do it. After months of fighting in the trenches, an insane national convention, picking Leo for vice-president, and then finally one of the closest elections in the history of the country, here he was standing in the Capitol again. 

Santos had offered him the job of chief-of-staff. Josh told him he needed time to think about it. Twenty-four hours later he turned the president-elect down. Telling him to choose Will Bailey who had worked on Russell's campaign but had been brought over after the primary. When Matt asked him why, Josh had simply grinned. 

Donna was pregnant. 

As he stood there waiting for the ceremony to begin Josh's mind began to wander to the future. Over the next few weeks he would be taking over as chief of staff to Congressmen Seaborn. Sam had offered him the job as soon as he'd heard Josh had turned down Santos. Josh had accepted without pause. He would get to stay in DC, still be involved in policy making, get to work with his best friend, and have time to spend with his growing family. It was the perfect plan. 

A part of him was hesitant though. After working so hard to get to the White House, was he being foolish in turning down the job he'd always wanted? 

But then he thought of Donna and her continuously bulging stomach and he grinned, knowing he'd made the right decision. 

XXXXXXXXX

Jacob Moss Lyman was born on May 3rd. 7 pounds 5 ounces. Blue eyes and a small tuff of dark hair crowning his head. As he grew, his hair got curly like his fathers but his eyes stayed the bright blue of his mother and sister. When he was six months old Jacob, along with the rest of the Lyman-Moss family, was summoned to Manchester. Josh had to laugh when he got the phone call from Abbey demanding to see the baby boy. 

When they got to the farm the former first couple was waiting on the porch. Jed Bartlet stood, aided by his now ever present cane, and made his way down the steps. 

"Where's that beautiful baby?" he said. 

Donna pulled Jacob out of his car seat and handed the sleeping boy to the former leader of the free world. Abbey came down off the porch and hugged Becky, standing behind the ten year old with her hands on the girl's shoulders. 

"So what do you think of your brother?" she asked. 

Becky smiled. "He cries a lot but he's pretty cute." 

"You guys are gonna have to watch out," Jed said, looking up at Josh and Donna. "You've got two heartbreakers on your hands." 

XXXXXXXXXX

"It's not fair!" 

"Hey, you know the rules. School comes first. Your math grade is slipping. We told you that if your grades started to slip it meant no parties on the weekends. When you bring it back up you can go." 

Donna heard the yelling but stopped as she got to the kitchen. She figured doubling teaming at this point was probably a bad idea. Though Josh and Becky rarely fought, when they did it was always big. 

"A 'C' isn't failing," Becky argued. "It's average." 

"But you're not," Josh replied. "You are so much better than average." 

"Oh so because I'm smart I'm not allowed to hate math?" 

"Of course you're allowed to hate math. I hate math too. But you're not allowed to not do the work. If you work hard and you still get a 'C' then I'll be proud of you. Your mother and I have never asked you to do anything but try. You're not working at math Beck. So until you do, no party tomorrow night." 

"But we've been planning this party for a week now!" 

"I'm sorry." 

"You don't get it! You don't have any idea what junior high is like." 

"Yes I do. And believe me when I tell you that being cool in junior high is not as important as you think." 

"This isn't fair!" 

"Well I'm the dad," Josh said, turning to the fridge. "I don't have to always be fair." 

"No you're not!" 

Josh stopped mid step. "What?" 

"You're not my father." 

At this point Donna came rushing into the room. "Becky," she said. 

But Josh shook his head, "No," he said, stopping Donna from continuing. Then he glanced at Becky, who swore his eyes were wet, before walking out of the kitchen. 

Donna looked at her daughter and to her surprise, Becky looked almost as horrified as she did. Deciding it would be best to let her figure it out, Donna turned and followed Josh upstairs. 

Opening the door to their bedroom she found him sitting on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped and shaking slightly. She sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. 

"Where's Jake," he asked. 

"In his room. He was building some kind of Lincoln log empire when I left." 

This got a small smile out of Josh. 

"She didn't mean it," Donna said. 

Josh nodded. "I guess I should have expected that to come up sooner or later. I just figured since it hadn't happened yet..."

"She's at a tough age. Remember what you were like?" 

"My father and I fought constantly." 

"Exactly. She's going through a rough time. She doesn't mean most of what she says." 

Josh felt some of the tension release from his body as Donna lay her head on his shoulder. They'd been married for five years and her presence always served to calm him. He absently ran a hand through her hair. "You'd tell me if I ever overstepped my bounds in dealing with her right?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, she was right. I'm not her father. And if I've ever gone over the line of..."

Donna lifted her head from his shoulder and put and hand to his face, turning him to look at her. "Josh listen to me. You may not be her father, but you're her dad." 

Josh smiled as a tear ran down his face. Donna brushed it away and kissed him. "I love you," she said. "And so does Becky." 

"Should I go talk to her." 

"No," said Donna, getting up from the bed. "She'll come to you." Standing up she turned towards the door. "See," she said, seeing Becky standing in the doorway, "told you." 

Josh turned and looked at the face of his daughter, her cheeks stained with tears. Donna made a quick exit, going to check on Jacob. 

"Dad?" Becky said hesitantly. 

Josh stood up and looked at her. After a moment he reached out with one hand. Becky let out a sob and ran into his arms. 

"I'm so sorry Dad," she said through the tears. 

Josh kissed the top of her head. "I know Munchkin." 

Becky pulled back and laughed a little. "You haven't called me that in a while." 

"I know." 

"I didn't mean it," she told him. 

"I know that too." 

"Forgive me?" 

Josh smiled. "Yeah," he said. "I forgive you." 

XXXXXXXXXX

Becky knew something was wrong the minute she walked into the house. Donna and Josh were sitting on the couch in the living room, their hands intertwined. Their faces were stoic but Becky could see the fear in their eyes. 

"What's going on?" she said as she took off her backpack and shoes. 

"Beck come over here," Donna said. 

Becky sat in the chair across from them. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Is it Jake?" 

"No," Josh said quickly. "No Jake's fine." 

"Jed?" Jed Bartlet had gotten weaker in the past couple of years and her fear was that something had happened to him. 

"No Baby," said Donna. "He's alright." 

"Then what's going on?" 

Donna and Josh exchanged a look. 

"Then what's going on? You guys are scaring me. You've both been acting strange for a couple weeks now." 

Donna took a breath, "Becky I'm sick." 

"Yeah I know. You've been sick for a while." 

"No," Donna said, "I'm really sick. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and they ran some tests." 

"Mom," Becky said, her voice becoming scared, "what are you talking about?" 

"It's cancer Baby." 

Becky's mouth opened and closed for a minute. "Well you can get treatment right? I mean people beat cancer everyday." 

Donna shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "It's in my bones and blood," she said. "There isn't anything they can do." 

"No," said Becky, shaking her head. She put her face in her hands and sobs shook her body. Donna quickly went to her and pulled her daughter into a hug. 

"You can't die," Becky whispered, clinging to her mother. 

"Shh," Donna cooed. "Everybody has to die sometime Becky." 

"Not now. Not yet," she sobbed. 

"We don't always get to choose. Shh. It's going to be okay." 

Josh stood up from the couch and made his way through the kitchen out the backdoor. Standing in the yard he looked up at the sky. "What did I do?" he asked. "Joanie, Dad, and then Mom last year? That wasn't enough? You have to take her too? What did I do to piss you off so much?" 

XXXXXXXXXX

The next few months were hell. Donna got worse, fast. Soon she was in the hospital, hooked up to too many machines. She tried her best to hide her own fears but everyone knew that she was dying. 

Sam gave Josh a leave of absence without question. Coming to the hospital himself as often as he could. In fact, everyone was there as often as they could be. Toby, CJ, Charlie, even Jed and Abbey came down and stayed in DC for a while to help. 

Jacob, at five years old, didn't really understand what was going on. He knew that his mommy was sick, and he understood that soon she would go away forever, but he didn't understand why. 

Becky wished she could help her brother, but she didn't understand herself. She spent a lot of time sitting beside her mother's bed praying to a god she'd never fully believed in to do something. To do anything. Not to take her mother away. She had been given a leave of absence from school as well. Some of her friends had offered to come be with her, but this wasn't something she really wanted to share with them. 

Right now she was sitting in a plastic chair outside the hospital room. The doctors had told them that Donna would most likely go today. Strange, Becky thought, knowing the day you would die. 

She heard footsteps approaching her. She looked up and saw Sam standing over her. 

"Hey Daisy Girl," he said softly. 

Becky smiled sadly, "Hey Sunshine Man." 

"I'd ask you how you're doing but that seems empty." He sank down into the chair next to her and covered her hand with his own. Offering quiet support. 

"I'm sick of people asking me how I'm doing." 

"I figured as much." 

They sat side by side in silence until Josh came out of Donna's room. "They say it's time," Josh said. 

Becky nodded, holding back tears. She stood up and walked towards the room. 

"I have to go get Jake," Josh told her. 

Becky looked up at him and knew that this was his way of saying that she should say goodbye to her mom alone. She nodded and walked into the hospital room. 

"Hey Baby," Donna said, her voice weak. 

"Hey Mom." She went to her mother's bedside and took her hand. 

"Love you...so much," Donna told her. 

"I love you too." 

"It's okay to be...angry...and sad. But don't stop...living." 

"I won't." 

"Take care of everyone." 

"I promise Mom." 

Josh walked in holding Jake's hand. Jake made his way to stand next to Becky while Josh went to stand on the other side of the bed. 

"Hey there sweetie," Donna said to Jake. 

"Mommy has to go away now?" Jake said, tears running down his face. 

"Yeah." 

"You won't hurt anymore?" 

"No. I won't hurt anymore." 

"I love you Mommy," he said. 

"I love you too darling." 

With great effort Donna turned her head to look at Josh who leaned down and kissed her cheek. 

"I don't know how to live without you," Josh whispered into her ear. 

"Shh," said Donna. "Be strong for them. They need...their dad. Love you." 

"I love you too." 

With that Donna turned back to her children and smiled. "Take care of each other," she whispered. Then Donna Moss slipped away. 

Jake started crying and hid his head against Becky's side. She rubbed his back and watched as Josh laid his head on Donna's chest and sobbed. But her eyes were dry. She'd cried too many tears the past few months. 

When Josh finally stood up he came around the bed and swept Jake into his arms, holding the little boy as he cried for his mother. 

Becky couldn't take it anymore. She fled the room and out the hospital doors. 

XXXXXXXXXX

The funeral day was sunny. Becky thought there was something wrong with the way the sun shone on the day they buried her mother. The service was held in a funeral home, neither Donna nor Josh wanting the service to be held in a church. The home had been vetted and cleared by the secret service so that Presidents Bartlet and Santos along with Vice-President McGarry could attend. 

The service was short. Josh spoke about the day he'd met Donna, the day she'd brought Becky into his life, and the day Jacob was born. Anthony spoke of the loving little sister who'd only wanted to make people happy, even when she was a child. 

Josh had told Becky that if she wanted to say something she could, but Becky had just shaken her head. "I wouldn't be able to say what I feel," she'd told him. Josh had nodded understanding and hugged her shoulders. Whispering that he loved her. 

At the cemetery Becky was the last person to walk up to the grave and throw a handful of dirt in. "Goodbye Mom," she said. 

The wake was held at their house. People milled around talking about Donna. President Santos had gone back to the White House but Jed had remained with Abbey and Leo to offer support. 

Becky nodded at the kind words people she barely knew gave, but offered none in return. After an hour or so Jed came up to her. "Go," he said. 

"What Sir?" 

"I'll cover for you. You need to get some air. Just go sit outside for a while." 

Becky smiled her first smile in what seemed like days. "Thank you Sir." 

Jed leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I know it doesn't feel like it. But it'll start to hurt less." 

Becky looked at his face and saw that he understood. That he too had lost a parent before it was time. She nodded and made her way towards the back door. Stopping to hug CJ for a moment. CJ, with her fierce protectiveness and long arms, always gave great hugs. 

Sitting on the back steps lost in thought, Becky didn't hear anyone approach. But she jumped a little when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning she looked into the face of a man she didn't know. 

"Hi Becky," he said. 

Becky shivered involuntarily. "Hello," she replied. 

"I saw you come out here and I thought it might give us a chance to talk." 

Becky looked up at him, confusion masking her features. 

"You don't know who I am, do you?" he said. 

Becky shook her head. 

"I'm Jeff Stern. I'm your father." 

Becky stood up and faced the man, shoulders set. "What are you doing here?" 

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" 

"I mean, how did you find out?" 

"It was in the paper in Madison. I flew out here for the funeral. I think I owed her that much." 

Becky scoffed and shook her head. "So you came to the funeral. Why did you come here?" 

"I came here to see you." 

"Sorry if I sound like a broken record but can I ask again, why?" 

"You're upset and you have every right to be." 

"Thanks. Cause I really need my feelings validated by a complete stranger." 

"Hey, I'm trying here." 

"You've had fourteen years to try. So all of a sudden Mom dies and you feel guilty? I'm not here to feed into your guilt trip." 

"That's not what this is about." 

"Then what is it about? Because I gotta tell you, this is the last thing I need right now." 

"I just want to get to know you. I think I deserve at least that much." 

Becky laughed humorlessly, "You deserve it? Mom tells you she's pregnant and you call her a whore and say that it probably isn't even yours before you take off for good and you think you deserve anything from me?" 

"She told you that?" 

"No. I heard her telling Dad." 

Jeff flinched when she called Josh 'Dad' but Becky didn't care. 

"You've never called, never written. If you saw Mom's name in the paper when she died then you must have seen it when she and Dad got together so you knew where we were. I don't need you. I have a Dad." 

"That guy is not your father." 

"No. But he's my dad. He's the one helped me do my homework and read to me. He's the one who came running when I had a nightmare and held me and told me it was gonna be okay. He's the one who made me soup when I got sick. He's the one who told me he loved me. Where were you? I lived with Grandma in the same city as you for four years but I never heard anything from you." 

"That's because your mom's whole family hated me." 

"Gee I wonder why." 

"Look, I realize that this is a tough time for you and I know I just came here out of nowhere. But I have just as much a right to be here and know you as anyone, especially Josh Lyman, does." 

"Just because one of your sperm hit an egg doesn't give you any right over me." Becky started walking back into the house but was stopped when he called out. 

"So she turned you against me too?" 

Becky looked back at him. "She didn't have to. I might have been a kid but I know what it means to never be there." She was getting frustrated now. 

"So it was that Lyman? She never was the same after she worked for him." 

"Don't you say anything about him! He's twice the man you are." 

The commotion had drawn the attention of the people inside. Josh got to the back door and pulled Becky behind him protectively. "What's going on? Who are you?" 

Before Jeff could answer Anthony was there. 

"You son-of-a-bitch!" he exclaimed, launching himself at Jeff. Grabbing his collar he shoved the other man against the porch rail. "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" It took Toby and Sam to pull him off. 

Anthony shook off their arms and glared at the other man, but made no move to attack again. "Get out of here Jeff," he said. 

As he spoke the name a look of realization came over the crowd of people that had formed. Becky felt a hand on her shoulder and looked back to see that Ainsley had come to stand behind her. Ainsley had been one of her mother's closest friends. Her marriage to Sam a few years back had brought her even more into their lives. Becky recognized the look on her face, it was determination brought about by a loyalty to those she cared for. Becky felt better knowing Ainsley was there. 

Jeff looked at the group of people who all seemed to be daring him to make a move. Standing up straight he brushed off his shirt and walked down the back steps, around the house, and was gone. 

Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief and headed back into the house. Josh remained at the back door with Becky. "Are you okay?" he asked. 

"I'm fine." 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" 

"No," Becky said. "It's over." 

XXXXXXXXXX

But even if she'd believed it at the time, Becky soon knew that it wasn't over. 

The first blow came a few weeks later. She was sitting in English class when she was called down to the principal's office. Usually when this happened to a student, the rest of the class would 'ooh' as if the person was in trouble. But because everyone knew about Becky's mom, no one said anything as she gathered her things and left the class. 

When she got to the office she saw her father and Ainsley sitting across from the principal Ms. Cassill who excused herself after Becky came in. 

Becky knew better than to ask if something was wrong. So she sat down and waited for someone else to start talking. 

"Beck," Josh began, "Jeff is suing for custody." 

Becky's eyes widened. "But you adopted me," she said. 

"I know." 

Ainsley jumped in, "Jeff is claiming that he never signed away his rights. And that your mother and grandmother kept you from him." 

"How can he say that!" Becky exclaimed. "He never tried to contact me!" 

"I know Hon. But he's claiming that because of what your mother and grandmother, and then Josh told you, you didn't want to see him." 

Becky sighed and rubbed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "It's all my fault." 

"What?" Josh asked, alarmed at the idea. 

"I said things to him. The day of the...the day of the funeral. Mean things." 

"What did you say?" Ainsley asked. 

"I told him he didn't deserve anything from me." She looked over at Josh, "And I told him you were twice the man he is." 

Josh couldn't help but smile a little. "This isn't your fault. I'm not sure why Jeff is doing this but even if it is because of what you said to him, it still isn't your fault." 

There was silent for a minute while Becky tried to collect her thoughts. "So what happens now?" she asked at last. 

"Well," said Ainsley, "tomorrow there will be a hearing to see if the judge will take the case and if he will, they'll set a date for the actual hearing. Hopefully by then we'll have found you a lawyer." 

"Can't you do it?" Becky asked. 

Ainsley blinked twice, "I could if that's what you want." 

Becky glanced at Josh who nodded slowly. "I want you to. You know the whole story. Mom told you what happened. I'd feel better knowing it was you." 

"Okay then," Ainsley replied. 

"Have you talked to the school and told them what's going on?" Becky asked. 

"Yeah," replied Josh. "They're giving you the time you need." 

Becky smiled sadly, "I'm going to end up having to redo a year of school." 

XXXXXXXXXX

The next day Becky sat, unmoving, as the judge not only agreed that Jeff had a case but ruled that Becky should be placed in a foster home until the official hearing in a month. As it was announced, Josh put his head in his hands. Ainsley argued but the judge held firm, saying that it was likely Josh would work to make Becky's opinion even more biased. 

After the Judge and Jeff, whom Becky had refused to look at during the whole procedure, had left, she, Ainsley, and Josh remained. 

"So what happens now?" asked Becky. "I mean, how long to do I have?" 

"Probably a few hours," Ainsley replied. 

"What if I refuse to go?" she said, jumping out of her chair. 

"Becky..." Ainsley began. 

"No! They can't make me go!" She turned to Josh, "Dad?" 

Josh looked up. 

"Don't make me leave," she begged. 

"There's nothing we can do," Ainsley said. "And if you refuse it could hurt us at the hearing." 

"What about Jake? He already doesn't really understand what's going on. I tried to explain it to him and he's confused. He still isn't over loosing Mom. What'll happen if I go away too?" 

"I know Hon," said Ainsley. "But there's nothing I can do." 

Becky let out a breath of defeat. "I know. I'm sorry, I wasn't blaming you. I guess I should go pack." 

Back at the house, Josh still hadn't said more than two words. Becky packed some clothes, books, music, and her school things before walking into his bedroom. Josh was sitting on what used to be her mother's side of the bed, staring out the window. 

"Jake with CJ?" she asked. 

"Yeah," he replied. "They should be back soon." 

"Even if he wins," Becky said, sitting down next to him, "you'll still be my dad." 

Josh looked over and smiled a little. 

"Mom wouldn't want us to give up," she said. 

"No, she wouldn't." 

Becky laid her head on his shoulder. "I miss her. Sometimes I miss her so much I can't breathe." 

"I know. Sometimes I still expect her to walk through the door." 

"I'm angry at her too though." 

"Why?" 

"Because if she hadn't died, none of this would have happened. I know it's not her fault but I can't help it. Maybe I'm not really angry at her. Maybe it's god or fate or whatever." She paused for a minute. "Am I a horrible person?" 

Josh pulled her close. "No," he said. "I'm angry too. I'm angry at her for dying. But I know she was angrier at having to die than we are." He kissed the top of her head. "She didn't want to leave you Munchkin, anymore than you wanted her to leave." 

Becky was about to respond when they heard the front door open and Jake laugh. "What are we gonna tell him?" 

"For now we'll tell him you're going away for a while. I'll explain it better later." 

"Okay." Just then they heard the doorbell. 

Heading downstairs they saw that CJ had opened the door to, who they assumed was, the social worker. 

"I'm Vicki Shaefer," the woman said, shaking Josh's hand. "I'm really sorry about all this." 

Becky just nodded and turned to Josh. Without a word she threw her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry Dad," she whispered. 

"Shh," he said. "It's not your fault. Just remember that I love you and that no matter what happens that will never change." He pulled back and wiped away the lone tear that was running down her face. 

Jake had been watching and now noticed Becky's bag. "Where are you going?" he asked. 

Josh put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Becky has to go away for a while." 

"Are you ready Becky?" Vicki asked. 

Becky turned to the woman, trying to ignore CJ's horrified look and Jake's protests. "Yeah," she said. 

"Come with me then." 

Once outside Jake's cries became louder. "Can I have a minute?" Becky asked Vicki. 

"Of course." 

Becky turned back to the house and put her bag down. She motioned for her father to release Jake. Josh put the crying boy down and Jake immediately ran towards Becky who kneeled down and caught him in her arms. 

"Don't want you to go!" Jake sobbed. 

"I know Buddy," Becky said, rubbing his back. "But it'll be okay." 

"Are you going away like Mommy?" 

Becky held him tighter. "No," she said firmly. "I promise I'm not going away like Mommy. I'll see you soon. Can you be good and take care of Daddy? Make sure he only drinks decaf." 

"Like Mommy used to," Jake said, smiling a little. 

"Right." Becky pulled back and kissed his cheek. "Be back before you know it." 

XXXXXXXXX

The hearing was three weeks later. Becky sat in the passenger seat of Ainsley's car as they made their way to the courthouse. 

"Do you have any questions about what we've been talking about?" Ainsley asked. 

Becky shook her head. Ever since she had been put in the foster home, Ainsley would come over once a day to talk about the trial, and also just to get her out of the house. Because she was acting as Becky's council she could go see the girl whenever she wanted. 

Becky appreciated the visits. Even with school to keep her busy she missed her dad, brother, and most of all her mother. Ainsley was the only connection she had to any of them and she relished it. 

When they got to the courthouse Becky stepped out of the car and blinked in the bright sunlight. They walked into the building and made their way to the court room. As they rounded the final corner Becky heard a voice squeal her name. She smiled and caught the small boy running towards her, lifting him up and holding him tight. 

"Hey Jake," she said. "I missed you." 

"You were gone a long time. You coming home now?" 

"I hope so buddy," Becky replied. She put him down and patted down a tuft of hair that was perpetually sticking up. Jake slipped his hand into hers and both children looked up as Josh approached them. When he got there Becky dropped Jake's hand and wrapped her arms around Josh's waist. Laying her head on his chest she felt her shoulders relax for the first time in three weeks. Josh pulled back and brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. 

"Are you okay?" he asked. 

"I'm fine," she assured him. "They were really nice people. And Ainsley's been taking care of me." 

Josh smiled gratefully at the woman who came up behind Becky and put her hand on the girl's shoulder. 

"We should go in," Ainsley said. 

Toby, whom Becky hadn't noticed until now, walked up and took Jake's hand. "Come on Kiddo," he said. "We'll go find a seat." The two of them walked into the courtroom. 

"Okay," Ainsley said, "are we all clear on what's going to happen?" 

Becky and Josh nodded. 

"Then let's go." 

The first thing that happened was Jeff's testimony. His lawyer threw him softball questions that painted Jeff as a victim of negative bias. That Becky's grandmother disapproved of his seeing Becky. Becky wanted to scream "Liar!" but she held her tongue, knowing Ainsley would get him. 

When it was their turn, Ainsley stood and approached Jeff. "Mr. Stern," she began, "what was your first response when Donna Moss told you she was pregnant." 

"I was shocked. She had left me for that Bartlet's campaign, then shows up again and says she's pregnant. I didn't know what to do." 

"Did you doubt that the baby was yours?" 

"Well what was I supposed to think? She'd been gone for months." 

"So you did call her a whore and say that the baby wasn't yours?" 

Here Jeff stumbled a little. "I was angry. I didn't mean it." 

"But you did say it?" 

"Yes." 

"Okay," said Ainsley. "Let's move on. In the four years that Rebecca Moss lived in Madison with her grandmother did you ever try to contact either of them?" 

"Donna's mother hated me." 

"That wasn't the question. You are Rebecca's father. You would have been able to get any court to grant you visitation rights. Did you ever try?" 

"No." 

"Why not?" 

"Donna's mother..."

"Mr. Stern we understand that she didn't like you. But that should not have stopped you from contacting your daughter." 

"I don't know okay. Maybe I was mad at Donna." 

"And when Donna and Rebecca moved to DC, did you ever try to contact them then?" 

"No." 

"How about when Rebecca was older? Ever send a card or a letter or make a phone call?" 

"No." 

"Why?" 

"Because I knew Donna would have turned her against me. And if she hadn't then that new guy she was with would." 

"So why did you come see Rebecca after the funeral?" 

"Because I thought that with her mother gone maybe she'd want to see me." 

"Mr. Stern, did you go to Washington DC with the intention of suing for custody?" 

"No. I didn't think she would be so hostile towards me. I thought we could just get to know each other." 

"But Mr. Stern, Rebecca obviously doesn't want that. So why are you suing for custody of a daughter you never made any attempt to get in contact with when you know it's not what she wants?" 

Jeff was silent. 

"Mr. Stern? Mr. Stern?" 

"Because I'm her father. He isn't." "Why is it that in all of these proceedings you've never once declared any kind of affection for Rebecca? You make it sound like the only reason you're doing this is to get back at Mr. Lyman and Ms. Moss." 

"That's not true!" Jeff exclaimed. 

But Ainsley was already walking back to her seat. "No more questions." 

Next came Josh. Jeff's lawyer approached the bench and began asking questions. 

"Mr. Lyman, when did you first meet Donna Moss?" 

"I met her in the summer of 1998 when she joined the Bartlet for America campaign." 

"You hired her as your assistant?" 

"Yes." 

"But she had no qualifications for that position." 

"No she didn't." 

"So why did you hire her." 

Josh smiled slightly. "She talked me into it. Told me she could be valuable. And she was right." 

"Did you have a non-professional relationship with Ms. Moss during the first months she was with the campaign?" 

"Define non-professional? We were friends." 

"Were you sleeping together?" 

"No," Josh replied under no uncertain terms. 

"Mr. Lyman when did you learn of Rebecca's existence?" 

"When Donna's mother died." 

"How did you find out?" 

"Donna told me." 

"And how did that make you feel?" 

"Bad." 

"Why bad?" 

"Because she had been working for me instead of being with her daughter and I felt responsible." 

"How long had you known Rebecca before you and Ms. Moss began a romantic relationship?" 

"A little over two months." 

"And how long before Ms. Moss and Rebecca moved in with you?" 

"Six months after that. Right before Donna and I got married." 

"How long before Rebecca began referring to you as her father?" 

"She asked if she could call me Daddy a couple of weeks before the wedding." 

"Mr. Lyman has Rebecca ever asked you about her biological father?" 

"Yes," replied Josh. 

"How did you respond?" 

"When she was little she asked why he wasn't around. I told her that it was because he didn't realize how wonderful she and her mom were." 

"And when she got older?" 

"She only ever once asked me about him when she was older than eight. I told her that it wasn't her fault and that I loved her." 

"So you made her believe that her father didn't love her?" 

"No," said Josh. "He did that. By never being around." 

"Mr. Lyman. Are you asking us to believe that you have never tried to make Rebecca believe that her father was a bad person?" 

"All I ever tried to make Becky believe was that it wasn't her fault." 

This was obviously not the answer Jeff's lawyer was expecting so he ended his questions here. Ainsley just claimed that she had nothing more to ask. 

Finally, it was Becky's turn to take the stand. Jeff's lawyer began his questioning. 

"Rebecca did your mother ever speak to you about your father?" 

"Yes Sir." 

"When?" 

"A few times." 

"Can you remember any of these times?" 

"When I was very little I used to ask why I didn't have a dad. She told me it was because my dad wasn't the man she'd thought he was." 

"She never said any more than that?" 

"Not when I was very young." 

"What about when you got older?" 

"I asked her once why she and Jeff hadn't gotten married when she was pregnant." 

"And what did your mother say?" 

"She said it was because he left." 

"Did you ask her why?" 

"Yes. She said it was because he wasn't ready to have a family and that he was angry at her for leaving him." 

"Did she ever tell you how she felt about him?" 

"No." 

"Did you know how your mother felt about your father?" 

"Yes." 

"How did you know if she didn't tell you?" 

Becky smiled and shrugged. "Kids aren't stupid. I heard her talking with my grandmother and then with Josh. When they didn't know I was listening." 

"And how did your mother feel?" 

"She thought he was a coward who used her until he didn't have a use anymore and then ran away when she got pregnant." 

"And you think you haven't been biased against your father because of this view." 

"I never said that I haven't. But my bias came from myself just as much as from her. And it definitely didn't come from Josh." 

"But you admit that you don't like your father?" 

"Yes I do." 

"And you admit that your mother's opinions have helped to shape your own opinion of him?" 

"Yes." 

"No further questions." 

Becky breathed out. She wasn't sure if that had helped or hurt her. Ainsley gave her a small smile and nod however before beginning. 

"Becky, Josh said that you once asked him about Mr. Stern when you were older than eight. Do you remember that time?" 

"Yes." 

"How old were you?" 

"Ten." 

"Can you tell us what happened?" 

"A girl in my class had said that because Josh was my step-dad I couldn't call him dad. I went home and asked Josh if that was true. He told me that being a family didn't always mean being blood related to someone. He said that CJ Cregg was my aunt and Sam Seaborn and Toby Ziegler were my uncles because they loved me like a niece. And that all the other aunts and uncles and grandparents I had that weren't technically related loved me so much that made them family. That him and my mom and Jake and I were a family because we loved each other like a family." 

"He didn't say anything else? Nothing about Mr. Stern?" 

"No. He never said anything bad about Jeff." 

"Okay. You can sit down now." 

XXXXXXXXXX

They recessed for lunch. Sitting on the courthouse steps eating McDonalds hamburgers, Ainsley, Becky, Josh, Jake, and Toby were all quiet. 

"Ainsley?" Becky said at last. 

"Yes?" 

"You said that now the two sides can make statements right?" 

"Yes." 

"Can I do it?" All the adults looked over at her. 

"Becky are you sure?" Josh asked. 

"Yeah. I want to be able to tell them what I think. I'm old enough to do that don't you think?" 

"You are," said Ainsley. "It's fine with me. Just be careful not to look angry. Be careful not to say anything that would imply Josh hasn't been the best caregiver." 

"I understand. I can do this." 

When they were all seated back in the courtroom, Jeff's lawyer stood and spoke again about the poor man deprived of time with his daughter. Of a family trying to keep him away. Of a scared man who made a mistake in running away but who is now trying to make up for it. After he was finished the judge turned to Ainsley. 

"Your Honor," Becky said. "I would like to make a statement." 

"Very well," the judge said. "Proceed." 

Becky stood, her hands shaking slightly. She glanced over at Josh who gave her a reassuring smile. 

"Your Honor when I was four years old I met Josh Lyman. He took me into his heart, no questions asked. He cared for me with no strings attached. And for the next ten years he loved my mother, and me and he has been my father for all ten of those years. He makes me dinner, helps with homework, punishes me when I break the rules, and laughs with me when we watch TV. 

"He's the man I look to for advice, who's helped teach me to become a good person. He and my mother made me what I am. He held me when I was eight and my hamster died. And he held me when I was fourteen and my mother died. I know his pain was as great as mine, but that day in the hospital he held me and told me that everything was going to be alright. 

"Jeff Stern is none of those things. I met him for the first time a little over a month ago. I won't deny that I have bad feelings towards him. He's the man that made my mother drop out of school, who then cheated on her, and wouldn't even come to the hospital when she was in an accident, nine months pregnant with me. 

"But up until the day of my mother's funeral I didn't really harbor bad feelings towards Jeff. Because I had a father. Josh Lyman is my father. He adopted three years ago because I asked him to. Because I wanted him to be my father. Your Honor I'm fourteen years old. That's old enough to understand the situation, and I think it's old enough to make a choice. It's not old enough to loose your mother. But I have. My mother is gone and I will miss her everyday. Please don't take my father and brother away too. Thank you." 

Becky sat down. Not noticing the tears in both Ainsley and Josh's eyes. Not noticing Toby wipe at his own eyes, though trying to hide it. The judge left to deliberate and all that was left to do was wait. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Becky came out of the bathroom and startled as she saw Jeff standing there waiting for her. Anger held barley in check she looked up at him. "Why are you doing this?" she asked. "I've never asked you for anything. I've never bothered you. Is it because of Mom? Is this just some twisted way of getting back at her?" 

"Of course not. I did love your mother." 

"You loved her because she was easy to control. You loved her because she paid your bills and never asked questions. You didn't love her when she came back." 

"She was a different person when she came back. He changed her." 

Realization dawned. "That's what this is about," she said softly. "You're angry at him because he showed her that she had value. That she didn't take what you gave her after coming back from the campaign. He gave her confidence. And you hate him because of it." Becky shook her head. "I was right," she said, starting to walk away, "you are half the man he is." 

When they were called back in Becky felt sick. She was too nervous to speak or even look up as the judge came back into the room. 

"I have reviewed the material in this case carefully," the judge began. "And while I believe that Mr. Stern is correct in stating that his daughter's opinion of him has been biased, I also believe that that bias is justified. I also believe that as much as Mr. Stern's behavior has been unpardonable, Mr. Lyman's has been honorable. What's more I believe that Rebecca is old enough to make this choice. I therefore grant sole custody of Rebecca Moss to Josh Lyman." He banged his gavel. "Case dismissed." 

Josh jumped out of his seat and grabbed Ainsley, kissing her cheek and hugging her. "Thank you," he whispered into her ear. 

"You're welcome," she replied. 

Becky, meanwhile had been attacked by an ecstatic five year old that jumped into her arms. "We won!" he exclaimed. 

Becky swung him around the best we could. "We won," she confirmed. She put the little boy down and turned to Josh. He pulled her into his arms. 

"I love you," he told her. 

"I know," she replied. "I love you too Dad." She pulled away and looked over at Jeff who was shaking his lawyer's hand. Jeff saw her looking and walked over. Josh put his arm protectively around her shoulders as Toby came to stand beside them, offering his own silent support. 

Jeff came up to Becky and crossed his arms over his chest. "I guess you got what you wanted," he said. 

"Yeah," replied Becky. 

Jeff shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "I'm sorry about your mom," he said. "She was something." 

"I know that," Becky said. "I've always known that." She looked at him and shook her head slightly. "Go home Jeff," she said softly. "Please." 

"I'm not gonna make any more trouble for you," he said. "I just wanted to say...have a nice life. I hope good things happen to you." And with that he walked out of the courtroom, and Becky never saw or heard from him again. 

After he was gone Josh squeezed Becky's shoulders. "Come on," he said. "Let's go home." 

XXXXXXXXXX

Usually after an event of this kind, life tends to settle. Becky's life was no different. After a while, a whole day would pass and she wouldn't think of how close she came to losing her whole family. And eventually, a whole day would pass and she wouldn't feel tears when she thought about her mother. 

Jed was right. It did get better. Soon the bad memories became dimmer and Becky was left with only good ones. Though she would never forget the day her mother died, she could think about it without tears. She could think about it and know that her mother wasn't in pain anymore. 

Jake grew. Soon he was nine. The copy of Josh in the same way everyone said Becky was a copy of Donna. He was a dreamer, passionate about his beliefs, fiercely loyal, and sometimes a little hot tempered. CJ once said that he got hostile like his father when someone made him mad. Josh had raised his eyebrows and asked CJ if she meant he got 'hot stuff.' CJ had smacked him upside the head, but had laughed as well. 

Becky graduated from high school first in her class. With, as she liked to rub in constantly, a 780 SAT word score. She decided to go to Yale, just like her Dad. 

Josh came into her room the day she had to leave for school. He had found some books she had been looking for. When he came in he saw that she was sitting on the floor on the opposite side of her bed. Coming around he saw that she was holding a photo album in her hands. The photos were taken before the cancer. Before the hearing. Before all of it. Josh sat down next to her and looked at the pictures. 

There was one of Donna and Becky cooking together in that first apartment in DC. Josh remembered taking the picture. Thinking the two blonds cooking together was too perfect to pass up. The picture next to it was of Josh hugging Donna from behind, they were both laughing. It was slightly crooked. Josh smiled as he remembered Becky begging to take the picture. 

Becky turned page after page as their lived played out before them. Santos' first election night, Jake as a baby, Becky's first day of junior high, and then first day of high school. Becky paused for a while at one picture of the four of them. Standing together in front of the Lincoln Memorial. Josh couldn't remember who had taken it. Maybe some tourist. There were pictures of the extended family too. Of Jed and Abbey. CJ, Toby, Will, Leo. Sam and Ainsley and their two children. Zoey and Charlie and their son Josh. 

Then the pictures of Donna stopped. Fading into pictures of just Josh, Becky, and Jake. Pictures of Jake's first little league game. Of Sam's inauguration day. Then newspaper clippings of Jed's state funeral. And then Leo's as well. They had lost so much. 

"I miss them all," Becky said, breaking their silent thoughts. "It feels like we've lost so much. Too much. Jed told me before he died that God doesn't crash drunk drivers into people, he doesn't give people cancer, or MS. And I assume he'd say that God doesn't give people heart attacks or burn down houses or shoot at people from buildings either. But...I don't know Dad sometimes it feels like no one's looking out for us you know?" 

Josh ran his hand over the picture of Leo's casket. "When your mother was diagnosed, I asked God what I'd done to piss him off. But I think that someone is looking out for me. I got another chance with your mother. She gave me you, and Jake. And I thank God everyday for that." 

"Why does it still hurt so much?" she asked. "Jed said it would get better and it has but..."

"It'll never go away completely Beck. It's not supposed to. Do you really want it to?" 

Becky paused a moment before answering, "No," she said. "You're right. I don't want it to go away. I wouldn't mind if it hurt a little less though." 

They sat in silence for a while. 

"Jake's going to miss you," Josh said at last. "He pretends to be excited to be the only kid in the house but it's all an act." 

Becky can hear Josh's own pain in these words. "Dad I told you that I'd go to Georgetown if Yale was too far away." 

"No," Josh said quickly. "I want you to go wherever you think you'll be happiest. And I'm so happy you're going to Yale. I'm just gonna miss you Munchkin." 

Becky shoved him playfully, "Don't call me that." 

Josh laughed. Then his face became serious. "You know how proud I am of you right?" 

Becky nodded. 

"Your mother would be too. And your grandma, and Jed, and Leo. They'd all be so proud." 

"I know Dad." 

Josh kissed the top of her head. "Alright," he said. "Let's get going." 

The two of them stood and Becky closed the scrapbook. She stared at the cover for a minute before throwing it on top of her suitcase. 


End file.
